On the Pull
Apr 4th, 2007 by Eats Wombats
Today I had a haircut (nr 2), at the end of which some goop was unexpectedly rubbed in my hair. There I was, thinking: “this is quite nice.” My hair was cut right away, for a modest price by London standards, and without any of the histrionics I became accustomed to in the Philippines. That is to say, without the massage malarkey for which I sometimes tensed up at the end. I put on my specs and had a quick squint at the orange tub from which this stuff had been scooped. “On The Pull” it was called.
My other half came home a few hours later and failed to notice I’d had a haircut. So much for being on the pull. Later in the evening I complained of the inefficacy of this product and I was disbelieved when I reported the brand name. “You can check it yourself” I said. I can remember the web address. It was www.geezers.co.uk. Other half ruffled my locks with a yes dear look on the way to bed. Well, I can now reveal that according to the web site this product “will ensure that you look the “dogs b******s” on every social occasion.”
Really, fancy having something like that put on one’s head without consent. I mean, it’s not as if it worked. Truth in advertising?
It’s quite shameless what these advertising copywriters get up to. I believe there is still a product called Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific. When I was 19 years of age and loose on the streets of Manhattan the skyscrapers of 5th Avenue were full of beautiful girls who poured onto the streets at lunchtime. I only had to turn to them, while waiting for a WALK sign, and enunciate the name of this product in my leprechaun accent and with a twinkle in my eye to have them giggling like schoolgirls. They were quite overcome, as was the hapless male passing the glowing, long-haired model on an elevator going the wrong way was in the advertisement.
Contemplate, if you can, how On The Pull would go down in America if marketed with the assurances offered in the UK. Consider the reputation of the British for understatement, irony, subtelty and sophistication. Clearly, Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific is pathetically literal and unsophisticated. It is the sort of utterance only a wimp could utter without an I Am Pulling Your Leg expression. The sophisticated British are not resting on their laurels.
