Celebrity Buttocks
Jul 27th, 2007 by Eats Wombats
According to a web traffic monitoring tool that I am beta-testing one of the recent visitors to this site came via a Google search for “celebrity buttocks.” Hello?
Eat your heart out Helen of Troy.
Mind you, I was surprised to see her HoTness referred to as a princess and a whore in an abstract of Bettany Hughes’ book (here’s a review). If the hottest woman of all time was a lady of easy virtue, then I grew up with the expurgated version of her story — in which Paris kidnapped her, didn’t take her to the Hilton, and didn’t get to see her naked buttocks. And so it seems. Now, I gather that she was raped by Paris, a bad mother, and a lustful creature with an insatiable sexual appetite. Dear me, she missed out on The Jerry Springer show by 2,800 years.
What can I say but… greetings to celebrity buttock lovers and marsupial nutritionists! This site gets a stream of visitors concerned with the dining habits of our furry antipodean friends.
I hope those who enquired “What do wombats eat?” and hoped for an oracular response from a virgin are not disappointed by Google’s best effort.
As it happens, wombat buttocks should be more celebrated than they are. They surely play a role in an important wombat capability, namely the ability to manufacture little square blocks of what AA Gill has called “personal lego” which are often prominently displayed. Will a wombat ever think outside the box and, you know, root, shoot and …build something?
It’s also my understanding that wombat buttocks are particularly bony for self-defence purposes. Ah, yes — Wikipedia (never wrong!) serves me once again:
“Its primary defence is its toughened rear hide with most of the posterior made of cartilage which, combined with its lack of a meaningful tail, presents a difficult-to-bite target to any enemy who follows the wombat into its tunnel. One naturalist commented, that a predator biting into a wombat’s rear would find it ‘comparable to the business end of a toilet brush’.”