Wombat Diet

Typewriter keys

I came across this set of typewriter key stickers for sale today (here) and was amused at the lengths people go to to turn a computer into a typewriter.

People who can’t help themselves typing two spaces after a period make me want to have and give away copies of a book I saw once called The PC Is Not A Typewriter.

The time I have seen at least one very senior manager spend removing hard returns and other idiocies from documents that needed to be reformatted for consistent presentation externally would make a saint weep; and I refer to documents created by people with PhDs, not secretaries.

Somehow the idea that the computer is not a typewriter is hard for some people to grasp.

But why would anyone want to turn a computer into a typewriter?!

Actually, I think I understand it. Some of it anyway.

The desire to have the closest possible approximation to a blank sheet of paper to compose on is something I understand.

I also empathise with anyone allergic to memorizing arbitrary combinations of keys in order to get the infernal machine to do something.

It was on this ground that I refused to ever have anything to do with Word Perfect, even when it ruled the market for word processing software. I used an elegant program called XyWrite instead. It offered a command line for the entry of mnemonic commands (DIR for directory listing e.g.) and its combination of simplicity, programmability and speed have meant that afficionados have kept it alive and freely available on the web long after it failed commercially (see XyWrite.com; I recommend version III. After v3.5 the lily was gilded and it died).

Some time ago I came across a program that reminded me of XyWrite. It was the nearest thing to a typewriter on a PC I’ve seen, complete with sound effects, including carriage return noises when enter is pressed! I looked for it when I found the stickers above and couldn’t find it.

So, I turned to Google and looked for a virtual typewriter.

I found this: the Visual Typewriter.

All that’s missing is the smell of ink.

said one review.

Prospective users are invited to

enjoy the romantic writing experience of days long gone

Romantic? The experience of retyping documents before the word processor is not something I ever thought had any romance about it.

My mother in law had a typewriter that looked like the one recalled by the stickers above and there were two romantic things about it.

First, it was her sole surviving possession from a direct hit from a bomb on her home in London during the war — it was found on a pile of brick rubble.

Second, she used it for correspondence with her husband for countless years, from before they were married to the long years when they were apart for months at a time — when he was working overseas and the mail was their chief means of communication. He had some affectionate rhyme about it that I can’t quite remember, involving a bag of nails and a harrow.

(I suddenly realise that I have no idea what happened to that typewriter, but a silver letter opener that often lay beside it is on my desk.)

A cutesy simulation of a typewriter wasn’t really what I had in mind so I kept looking. Eventually, eventually, I found Q10, and I was strangely glad to have it back.

Here’s a review of it: The Zen of Q10. (found only when I had rediscovered the name Q10).

First, I found WriteMonkey (love the name, must have a look sometime), a Linux equivalent called Textroom, the virtual typewriter musem, and some other typewriter curiosities including jewelry and sculpture, and a typewriter that sends email. Even a web simulation of a typewriter (not so convincing).

Jeremy Mayer’s sculptures made of recyled typewriters are delightful (some Wired magazine photos here and here)

Q10, or something like it, is what I’d like to use if I ever sit down to do any creative writing.

Just for the intrinsic satisfaction of minimalism.

Too many choices are a distraction or even, according to the New York Times, A Problem That Can Paralyze.

Too many breakfast cereals, typewriter fonts, sites offering typewriter fonts … not good. (Apple avoids this mistake).

Or as Andre Kibbe put so well it in his opening words on The Zen of Q10 :

Constraints are more reliable than discipline.

Q10 has been a dormant project for some time but it’s just been reactivated. Some of the suggestions for improvement are good, printing support e.g., but hopefully the temptation to add too much will be resisted.

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Tags: Q10, virtual typewriter, XyWrite